Lifestyle,  Parenting

Lessons I Have Learnt Since Becoming A Parent | Guest Post Series | The Prosecco Mum

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I’m Jess, aka Prosecco Mum. I’m a mum and I’m partial to a glass or five of the good stuff. Though this doesn’t happen as often as I’d like now, so when I do strip off my well worn ‘mum’ leggings and get my glad rags on, I turn into one of those over-excited, just turned 18 year olds that you see binge drinking in pubs. Except I’m 34 and I’m apparently a responsible mother to my two babies – Sofia who’s in full threenage mode and Arlo who’s four months.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, can prepare you for becoming a parent. Having your first child is a huge culture shock; no matter how selfless you think you were before, an arrival of a baby makes you realise you were actually pretty selfish. I mean all you may want is to have a wee. Alone. Is that too much to ask? And for all you non-parents doubting it ‘can be that hard’, there are no amount of hangovers, even seven day long ones that will EVER be as horrendous as four months sleep deprivation. Yes I speak from experience. 


Lessons I Have Learned Since Becoming A Mummy

● Your time is no longer your time. You can bet your bottom dollar that the moment you boil that kettle, pour the steaming water over that teabag, think about taking a first sip…the nap will just end.

● You can’t just ‘pop’ anywhere without a strict military operation taking place – and heaven forbid, don’t forget the changing bag!

● Every time you take a shower you’ll hear a crying baby; even if they’re not in the house. I think its correct term is shower psychosis. Just me? 

● Sleep is for the weak. I mean who needs a lie in past 6.30 anyway?

● Health Visitors, on the whole, are pretty useless. They can’t give personal advice they read it from a book. So, how about we stop these weekly visits as I can just find out the answers to my questions on Google.

● Speaking of which, Google’s actually a bit of a no-no. You’ll end up diagnosing an imminent cot death or a brain tumour. And that’s just us parents!

● From the moment you conceive you also conceive loads of new emotions that make you cry at absolutely everything. Often at really inappropriate times. You think pregnancy is bad? Wait until days 3-5 post partum. 

● Mum friends are a necessity! You really do lean on those who are going through the same experiences as you, at the same time. You will more than likely have lifelong friends, and they will always be there, but there’s something special about hanging out with other sleep deprived, sicked on parents during maternity leave to motivate you to drag your ass out to see when really all you want to do is fester on the sofa (some days like this are OK, but not every day – it’s not great for your state of mind. 

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You can read the full blog ‘First year as a first time mama, here:

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