planning for a second baby

PLANNING FOR A SECOND BABY

It’s a given fact that as soon as your first baby exits your body, people will feel it is appropriate to ask “so are you going to have another?” “WHEN do you think you’ll have another?” or my personal favourite “would you love a girl next?!” – I would love to sucker punch you in the face, that is what I would really love Julie, ya giant twat. Planning for a second baby is a massive deal!

Don’t get me wrong there are days where I am broody as hell and other days where I want to pack a bag, stich my vagina up & run for the hills. Or the beach. Somewhere with cocktails. Having a second baby isn’t a decision anyone can take lightly, and as someone who really struggled to adjust to motherhood – the decision to give Teddy a sibling is even tougher.

There are so many things to think about & try to decide what is best for us as a family. We had a pregnancy scare a few months ago & I had a full blown meltdown in the kitchen, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t handle two of them. No way. However when it turned out I definitely wasn’t pregnant, I felt disappointed. How stupid is that?!

I used to think I would love a close gap between my children, however since having Teddy & you know, actually EXPERIECING parenthood we have decided that 2.5 – 3 years is our preferred age gap. Our logic is that Teddy will be going to pre-school for his free hours, at least 15 hours, so we can have that lovely one on one time with the new baby, that Teddy got. Then when Teddy comes home we can really make a huge fuss of him, well… that’s in an ideal world LOL.

It’s been no secret on this blog that Teddy hates sleep, actually to give the kid credit, this past two months he has slept like a dream – going down more often than not straight away between 6 & 7pm and only waking up once in the night. Which is a HUGE improvement! My argument is that I can’t get used to sleep (lord how I love it) THEN have another baby and start the sleepless nights all over again. On the flip side though.. I can’t handle two lots of nocturnal kids! One will fall asleep, then the other will wake up, then one will fall asleep.. it’ll be like a vicious fucked up cycle.

For the past 16 months Teddy has been my sole priority, he is the one constant I have – so the idea of having to share my time that has always been his, makes me really sad. The thought of having to tell him to wait, especially in the early stages of breastfeeding when they are attached to your boob 24 hours a day and that is another thing! Teddy is still breastfeeding and that is his comfort. The idea of either forcing Teddy to wean off before he is ready or him having to share his comfort breaks even my cold heart. I don’t think people factor in any of these things when it comes to planning for a second baby.

I was lucky enough to have a amazing pregnancy. I loved absolutely every second of it & my midwife described it as a text book pregnancy (I still think the bitch jinxed me with my shit ass labour). The main struggle I had was the “morning sickness” or in my case constant nauseous. For the first 13 weeks I hardly ate, felt sick all day & wanted to sleep. The luxury of my pregnancy with Teddy was I could fully wallow in self pity, sleep when I wanted & just plod on at my own pace. Pregnancies with another kid already in tow? Not so much. I have to be a fully functioning mama. The idea of Teddy suffering because I’m suffering, I just don’t like the thought.

My thoughts on planning for a second baby? It is up to each individual and when THEY feel they are ready to have another baby – not up to every nosey fucker who decides to take it upon themselves & ask.

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