Dear New Mummy…
First of all, congratulations! You have successfully evacuated a tiny human from your body. Whether that was through your vag or a sunroof delivery (c-section). Or maybe you are an adoptive mama who has opened her heart to welcoming a new babe into your family. However it’s happened; you’re fucking amazing.
There is nothing more scary or exciting than what is about to happen. Nothing can quite prepare you for raising a baby. Those books you read, those questions you asked & those classes you took will all mean fuck all in the first few weeks. Possibly even months. I honestly wondered what the hell I had done and whether there was a return policy on tiny crying humans. Don’t ever feel guilty or ashamed if you feel that way. Ever. You are taking on one of the biggest and toughest challenges there is. It doesn’t help that everyone starts shoving their two pennys worth it, spouting off how THEY did it. If one more person pipes up about a fucking routine, i’m gonna drop kick a bitch. I swear. I go more into detail with this in my “10 Things Not To Say To A New Mama” post
You’ll feel like you are doing everything wrong, no matter how many people tell you what an amazing job you are doing. There’s constantly that voice in the back of your head, making you doubt yourself and you start questioning every little decision you have ever made. I often lie awake at night after a particularly shitty mum day (we all have em’) and run through everything I maybe should have done differently. “Should I have persisted with a bottle as he now refuses one? I should have insisted in putting him down for naps, as now he’ll only sleep on me..”
It’s only now, five months in, that i’ve realised nobody has a fucking clue what they are doing. At all. It’s all complete trial and error. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Most of us are just winging the shit out of motherhood & praying we keep everyone alive successfully.
You’ll spend many a night wondering if you can die from not enough sleep. As much as it will feel like it, I promise you’ll survive. Just.
Cut yourself some slack, the house may be a shite hole, you might not have showered for a couple of days and your pyjamas (because no new mum has time to change!) may smell quite questionable but you know, enjoy it. Because before you know it, you’ll have to leave the house and look like you kind of have your shit together. As much as you’ll want to stay safely tucked away in your sleep-deprived little newborn bubble, some fucker is gonna want to come along and pop it and ask you to enter back into the real world…
The real world where letting your boobs be free and accessible 24 hours a day isn’t deemed appropriate, where you will wince every time your tiny baby makes a noise because you just want two minutes to be a normal functioning human again. It’s all about “Finding The Balance” between motherhood and being the person you were pre-baby. It might not feel like it, but that person is still there. You are just as much you as you were before you reproduced! Sometimes we just lose sight of that.
Do you know what else I promise you? That it’s the best thing you’ll ever do. There are days where it won’t feel like it and you’ll feel like selling your child on your local facebook buy, sell & swap page (some days i’d take a swap..) but those days are few and far between. Eventually that newborn “what the F have I done?!” haze will lift and you’ll be in your element.
There will still be tough days, where you’ll want to lock yourself in a dark room, hooked up to an IV drip filled with vodka and a family sized block of chocolate..or two..
Welcome to the mamahood club. it’s a lot of graft but it’s amazing.
Oh, and a piece of advice, don’t believe everything you seen on social media. Those mums that have perfect babies and live perfect lives? They are chatting out their arseholes…