1. When we ask how we look, ‘fine’ isn’t good enough. we want a full detailed account of how fucking fabulous we look.
2. Saying ‘I Love You’ before, during or after sex does NOT count. Boy you just wanna get laid, or you have just been. Either way, nah mate.
3. You mess up, we seem fine with it, totally cool. We actually aren’t and our plotting your ultimate demise.
4. For the love of god if we hear ‘I nearly bought you some flowers today..’ one more time, we will not be held accountable for our actions.
5. Sometimes we just don’t want to have sex. Shocking I know. Don’t read too much into it, it’s irritating. It has nothing to do with you, or our feelings for you. We just can’t be arsed.
6. Respect us. Some men are bastards and don’t appreciate the woman in their life. Don’t be that guy. Show her how much you love her.
7. Cooking for us once in awhile won’t ruin your street cred. We’d actually really appreciate it. Even if it is a frozen pizza, it’s the thought.
8. Never forget a birthday or anniversary. It really isn’t worth the shit storm you would endure.
9. Listen and at least pretend to care. When i’m telling you that Sarah from marketing is a bitch and whine about how much i’ve eaten that day..roll with it.
10. Love us. For god sake, a cuddle and a kiss is all we really want. Not all the time, cos my psychotic side will come out and wonder what the hell you’ve done, but every once in awhile. We love a good snuggle.