Tough Times & Life Changes…

Hi Guys,

Sorry i’ve been so quiet on the blogging front, there has been quite a lot going on and happening recently, so much so that blogging has had to take a back seat for now. This is going to be a really different post to my usual upbeat, chatty, beauty posts and it won’t be to everyones ‘taste’ but I share so much of my life on this blog and with you guys, that I wanted to talk about it and get some things off my chest.
In the FRC household, myself and Aaron (in particular) have suffered a great loss. On Thursday 24th April, Aarons mum lost her fight with cancer. It was a massive, massive shock and still doesn’t seem real..
She beat breast cancer a couple of years ago, and we all thought she was through the worse. However, about 3 weeks ago, she was taken to hospital with shortness of breath and difficulty breathing. We then found out that she the cancer had returned. This time to one of her lungs and her liver. How cruel can life be?! You think beating cancer once, you’ve had your share of shit luck, but to have to fight it a second time, is just really crappy. 
She returned home, with an oxygen tank to help with her breathing, and told she would be starting chemo within the next couple of weeks. In the mean time she was in and out of hospital with checkups and shortness of breath, the oxygen didn’t seem to be helping much.
On Thursday morning at about 3:30a.m, Aaron got a phone call of his step-dad telling him to go to the hospital, as things weren’t looking good. Aaron went straight away and I stayed home, I felt it was just a time for family and to be honest I just don’t think i’d have handled it very well. 
At 1:40pm I got a phone call off Aaron, to tell me she had passed away peacefully. I couldn’t believe it. Even now it seems like it’s happening to someone else, not to us.
How do you go from being told you have cancer to, 3 weeks later,…..
Aaron is in complete shock and is going through a complete mixture of emotions. Sometimes he is fine, then he’s heartbroken, then he’s angry..
When he came home after she had passed, I didn’t know what to say. Does that make me a bad person? I didn’t know what to say to comfort my boyfriend? How do you comfort someone who has lost the most important person in their life? What words can you say?
I’m taking some time off work to be with Aaron, and trying to keep him as busy and occupied as I can. I think planning the new house and sorting all that out is helping him a great deal, giving him something positive to look forward to…
I feel like the past year, my whole life has been surrounded my death.. I had gone 20 years without losing anyone close to me. I then lost my Grandma, Aarons Nan, my Uncles Dad and now Aarons Mum. I hate death. I know people say that it’s a way of life and it happens to everyone. But that doesn’t make it any less devastating and it certainly doesn’t make it easier. 
My heart is broken for Aaron, he’s only 24, he shouldn’t have to spend the rest of his life without her.
I have some posts written up ready to schedule for the next week or so, they will be a little more positive and not so depressing. I hope you all enjoy your weekend and had a great Easter.
Lots of love xx

1 Comment

  1. April 26, 2014 / 5:38 pm

    oh this is heartbreaking.
    Massive hugs for both of you.
    You're doing the right thing by being there to comfort him, that's lovely of you.

    Jenn | PhotoJennic


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